1/26/25 “Forgiveness Factor”
Matthew 18:21-35
(Display Picture of golf Scorecard)
Does anyone recognize what this is?
That’s right…It’s a golf scorecard
Believe it or not, my family has a very close connection to scorecards.
Back in the mid 70’s my grandfather – Elmer Johnson
He retired from working at the Badger Army Ammunition plant near Baraboo, and began a business called Johnson Golf Supply.
The main product that Johnson golf supply produced, were golf scorecards – much like what you see on the screen.
…this was back when golfers used paper scorecards – today scorecards are basically an app on your phone…is that right, Mark?....Don?
…Grandpa loved to golf.
He owned his own golf cart and he & grandma lived right beside the Baraboo golf course, so almost every day he could be seen heading over to play a quick 9 holes.
Then in the early 80’s, Elmer came down with a combination of Meningitis and Encephalitis that almost took his life…
…and while he was recovering from this major illness, he needed help with the scorecard business.
So…he hired my mom to begin working for the family business.
She would spend the next…what…30 years?...of her life doing all of the artwork for hundreds of different scorecards that were eventually shipped off to golf courses all over the country….
….including pretty much every local golf course around this area.
If you notice, a golf scorecard has multiple lines that are for the names of each golfer in the group to be recorded…
Typically, one golfer in the party is assigned the task of keeping track of - not only their score – but everyone else’s score as well as they progress through the holes on the course.
Each time the golfers finish a hole, the keeper of the scorecard writes down each person’s score for that specific hole.
This process is repeated until the last hole is played…
At which time the golfer with the lowest score is then declared the winner.
I have been told that – in some cases – the winning golfer takes the scorecard home with them so that they can remember their victory on the links that day….
…and also to remember the scores of the other players whom they were with.
Our passage of scripture for today is about forgiveness…
…and sometimes – like names & numbers on a golf scorecard – we keep track of the people who offend us…
We remember the individuals who hurt us– we write their names on the mental entry-lines of our brains…and we don’t forget about it.
…we continually recall the severity – or, score, if you will - of their offense against us.
At times in our life, we have all taken home a “Sin-against-me” scorecard…
This spiritual scorecard listing the names of individuals who have slighted us can remain a part of who we are for a very long time…in some cases, even a lifetime…
..how many times have we seen family members refuse to speak to each other because of some offense, sin, or injustice that took place years…sometimes decades ago…
…and – sadly – in many of these instances, these individuals go to their grave without ever saying another word to each other…and without ever forgiving one another…
Forgiveness is so important in our lives – especially – in the life of a Christ follower…
…and that is exactly what Jesus teaches us in our story for today called “The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant.”
For some context, just prior to telling this parable, Jesus was teaching on the topic of church discipline – how to handle sinful offenses within the church…
When Jesus was finishing, Peter – in typical Peter-like fashion – decides to ask Jesus a question concerning forgiveness.
In verse 21 (Matthew 18:21) he says, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
First of all, you may be wondering how Peter came up with the number 7 here, right?
It seems a bit arbitrary, does it not?....why didn’t he say 5 times?...or 10 times?
I don’t know if there is any easy answer to this, other than to say that the Rabbinical tradition of the time was that a person was to forgive someone 3 times for an offense against them…
…but a fourth offense meant that you were no longer under any obligation to forgive that individual.
That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?....
…I mean, I’ve been caught stealing Culver’s fries from my wife when she’s not looking way more than four times over the past 27 years!
Peter was undoubtedly wanting to seem benevolent in his question here as he doubled the forgiveness standard of the day – AND added one more for good measure…
…Perhaps he wanted to land on the number 7 – it is a godly number, after all.
Regardless of what Peter’s thinking was, Jesus answers him with a brief – but powerful – response in verse 22 (Matthew 18:22) when he says, “…not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Most reliable translations record Jesus as saying “seventy times seven”…
If this was indeed the case….can’t you just see Peter doing the math in his head….?
Well, let’s see…seventy times seven…carry the four…that’s…490 times!
Really, Jesus!?!
Obviously, Jesus was not speaking literally here…
rather, he just picked up on the number Peter used and put it into an equation that conveyed the truth that forgiveness is not about keeping score…
Jesus fully knew that we humans like to keep score…we like to get that “sin-against-me” scorecard out and gaze at it from time to time.
……“I’ll never forget that one time when so-and-so said terrible things about me to what’s-her-name….
…then what’s-her-name turned around and told me what so-and-so said….
…that’s when I lost it, and told so-and-so I never wanted to talk to them ever again….
…and that’s when so-and-so responded with “Good!...me neither!”
….and that was…well, that was 30 years ago now.
Brothers and sisters – if we are not careful – that “sin-against-me” scorecard can overshadow literally everything else in our life…
Think of the largest picture you have hanging in your house…in a place where you see it every day.
For some of you, the largest spiritual image that you have hanging in your heart is your “sin-against-me” scorecard.
You pass by it every day…every so often, you gaze intently at the names that are listed and the “sin-score” beside each of those names
…you begin to treat it like a cherished family heirloom – because it gives you a dysfunctional comfort in thinking that your unforgiveness of someone else is somehow causing them pain & regret in their life…
…and for that reason – you convince yourself that this is a piece of art worth keeping.
…you convince yourself that this priceless scorecard of sin on your spiritual wall is becoming more beautiful as the years go by…
But, in reality, that spiritual artwork of sin - is actually rotting your house.
It’s covering up a hole in the wall caused by a termite infestation that you know nothing about because you haven’t taken that scorecard picture down for decades!
The house structure of your life has been tragically compromised because you are too proud to remove that reminder of someone else’s offense.
It was once said that “unforgiveness is like drinking poison – but hoping that it will kill someone else.”
It is for this reason that Jesus launches into a parable meant to convey the importance of forgiveness….and the tragedy of unforgiveness.
In verse 23 (Matthew 18:23) Jesus begins the parable by describing a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants…
In verse 24 (Matthew 18:24) we meet a man who owes the king 10,000 talents.
For those of you who heard last week’s message, this word ‘Talent’ should ring a bell, right?
If you recall, we saw that a single talent of silver was equivalent to around $32,000 in today’s economy…
10,000 talents of silver, therefore, would be around $320 million dollars by current standards
…and if the talents spoken of here were talents of gold…it would be billions and billions of dollars…
Jesus’ point here is that the servant’s debt was so huge that it was unpayable.
It would have taken countless lifetimes to pay off what this man owed.
Obviously, the servant understands that he’ll never be able to pay this debt, so – with his family and everything he holds dear at stake – in verse 26 (Matthew 18:26) the man throws himself down at the mercy of the king
…And in verse 27 (Matthew 18:27) something very unexpected happens – the king takes pity on the servant and forgives the entire debt!
I’ll bet Jesus’ listeners didn’t see that coming!
So, we would now expect this man to be full of joy, gratitude, and mercy toward others, right?
Well, in the very next verse (Matthew 18:28) what does he do?
He goes out and finds someone who owes him a hundred denarii…
A denarii was equal to one day’s pay – so this man would have owed the servant about 15-20K in today’s economy…
…He goes out – assaults the guy - and demands that the debt be paid back immediately.
He’s worried about 15K, when he’d just been forgiven millions…if not billions!
The fellow servant pleads with him and says in verse 29 (Matthew 18:29) “….Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.”
If these words sound familiar, they should.
They were the exact same words that this greedy servant said before the king a very short time ago…
However, rather than showing the man mercy just as the servant had been shown from the king, the servant had the man thrown into prison until he could repay the debt.
In verse 31 (Matthew 18:31) Jesus tells of other servants who saw the entire thing go down….and felt they needed to tell the king what this unmerciful servant had done.
The master decided to call this ungrateful servant back in…and – in his anger – informs the man that because he was so unmerciful to his fellow servant…
especially after having been the recipient of infinite mercy himself…
…that now the debt was back on the books…
…and that he would now be thrown into prison until the debt was paid….In other words, until he had a change of heart toward the man who owed him the 100 denari.
Everyone was probably thinking that this was the end of the parable…but it wasn’t.
Jesus had one more thing to say…and these words of the savior undoubtedly sent chills down the spines of everyone there in attendance that day.
He says in verse 35 (Matthew 18:35) “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”
There are so many lessons about forgiveness in this parable…
First, let’s clarify who and what is being represented by this parable.
The King, as Jesus alludes to in verse 35, is God the Father.
..and the slaves – who are servants of God – represent believers…
People who came to understand they needed a savior…
People who fell on their knees in repentance…and – through Christ - received a pardon from their enormous debt to the King.
And this insurmountable debt that is owed the King – this debt that can never be repaid through our own efforts…..it is the debt of sin.
It is a debt we are all born with – and one that accrues exponentially throughout our lives at a pace that far surpasses our ability to eliminate it through our own capacities.
This is why Jesus tells the Pharisee Nicodemus in John chapter 3 that he must be born again….
As baptism so vividly illustrates, we must humbly put to death the old, unrepentant self…and rise to new life in Jesus through the power of his name…
…and through the blood that He shed for all of our sins (past, present, and future)
Every sinner should be overwhelmed by his sin just as the servant was overwhelmed by his insurmountable debt.
Our hearts need to have the attitude of the repentant tax collector in Luke chapter 18 where we read:
“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God have mercy on me, a sinner.’” (Luke 18:13)
The beatitudes in Matthew chapter 5 convey the humble and contrite heart of the person who truly understands his own depravity…who understands that Jesus is his only hope of being made right with God.
…that attempting to be right before God on our own merits is an exercise in futility.
This idea of the king canceling such an enormous debt is absolutely astounding!
It’s a picture of a sinner coming to faith in Jesus Christ….repenting of one’s sins and begging for God’s merciful forgiveness.
And this forgiveness is unlike any other kind of forgiveness…it is a pure, everlasting forgiveness from a holy and righteous God…
…and it has eternal consequences.
One thing that makes this parable so distasteful to us is how this servant who was forgiven so much….How he could immediately go out and treat a fellow servant with such cruelty….
…with such callousness…with such unforgiveness…
..and all of this when he had just been released of a debt that he would never have been able to pay back on his own.
We don’t stomach this well…
…We don’t like it because it is a reminder of our natural inclination toward sin.
…even as born-again believers, we still have part of us that is capable of treating other people like dirt…even our fellow brothers & sisters in Christ!
This is precisely why the apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians chapter 6 to put on the full armor of God….Every. Single. Day.
It’s a daily battle against our own selfish fleshly desires that are still a part of who we are as long as we are in these bodies of flesh…
…and it’s also a battle against the forces of evil in the spiritual realms, as Paul reminds us.
When we harbor unforgiveness in our hearts towards others – especially in light of the insurmountable debt what we have been forgiven through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross – we are acting just like this ungrateful, unmerciful servant.
This – brothers & sisters – this is why we are to have a heart of forgiveness toward others…
Ephesians 4:32 says “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
As a redeemed child of God, you have already been forgiven a sin debt that is greater than you could ever hope to pay…now that’s great news!! Amen?
One final note this morning.
There will always be those tough cases, right?
Malicious individuals who commit horrific acts against other people – things like murder, rape, kidnapping, sex trafficking, etc. etc.
…what does Jesus say about these people…and these situations?
..are we actually expected to forgive evil people who have committed some kind of atrocity…maybe even against some of us here this morning?
These are – no doubt – difficult circumstances….and unless you’ve been the victim of a horrible injustice of some kind, it’s hard to truly empathize with someone who’s been through it.
But, I think it would profit us to look at 2 things regarding what we would classify as horrific offenses such as the ones previously mentioned:
(1) Who actually benefits from forgiveness…
And (2) What is the current heart condition of the offender.
First of all – and this is extremely important to remember –
when scripture tells us to forgive others, we are NOT being told that we are obligated to have regular contact with that person again.
In fact, in some cases, seeing an individual who abused you in the past could re-ignite memories that could lead you down a dark path of depression and anxiety.
Remember, forgiveness – as was illustrated in this parable – is a releasing of a debt…
…In the process of forgiveness, we are not told that we are required to take upon ourselves the burden of that debt again.
Remember in the parable, the master forgave the large debt of the servant…but notice he did not continue to loan the servant any more money, did he.
You’ve heard the axiom: “Fool me once, shame on you…fool me twice, shame on me”
There are times in our lives when simply steering clear of certain individuals is the healthiest thing we can do….but that doesn’t mean we cannot forgive them.
Forgiving someone – after all - about choosing to release the hate, the pain, the animosity, the discord, the drama, the turmoil in our hearts…
Releasing it…and giving it all to God in order for there to be harmony in our vertical relationship with him.
Forgiveness is not necessarily about becoming best buddies with someone who has wounded you deeply in the past.
But, through the process of giving these painful emotions & feelings up to God…
in taking the “Sin-Against-Me” picture off the wall…
the person who can do this is the person who truly benefits from forgiveness.
Forgiveness – and please listen closely - Forgiveness is not so much about the object (Person) being forgiven…as it is about the subject (Person) doing the forgiving.
It is through forgiveness that true peace is found.
The second thing to think about when considering these difficult situations regarding forgiveness, is the heart condition of the offender.
If someone has repented of their sins, come to faith in Jesus, and comes to your door begging you to forgive them for something they did to you years ago…What are you supposed to do?
Well, Jesus tells us exactly what to do in verse 22 of todays passage….we forgive them….we forgive them.
I know, it’s not easy sometimes.
Back in 1994, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer – while in Federal prison over in Portage – was quoted as saying this: “I have accepted Jesus as my Lord & Savior.”
Scripture tells us that all of heaven celebrates when a lost soul repents and comes to faith in Jesus….
Honestly, when I heard that news about Jeffrey Dahmer…my first reaction was definitely NOT to celebrate….My first reaction was “No!”…No way did Dahmer find Jesus!....God, this is Not Right!!!...This is Not Fair to all of his victims and their families!!....This man needs to rot in Hell for what he did!
(Remember, Your pastor was a college student at that time who was a bit lacking when it came to understanding the extent of God’s grace)
In cases like Dahmer’s…and any case – really - where the offender does something that is considered to be “extra-evil”….
…I believe it does us well to remember that all sin – at its core - is an affront against God…
…and – as Paul reminds us in Romans 6:23 “The wages of sin is death…” (Any Sin)
and all of us occasionally commit sin – even the most mature of believers.
A redeemed offender resembles the prodigal son coming home to ask his father to be forgiven for sin – no matter what that sin happened to be….
They need to be forgiven…..just as God has forgiven your sins (and my sins) through the blood of His son.
We are to treat other repentant believers with the same kind of forgiveness that God conveys to us by way of the cross.
It’s not called “Amazing Grace” for nothing.
I’d like to conclude this morning with an illustration from commentator William Arnot regarding how believers are commanded to forgive one another:
“After fording a river, a traveler in Burma discovered that his body was covered with small leeches, busily sucking his blood. His first impulse was to pull them off, but his companion warned him against it, explaining that doing so would leave a portion of the leech buried under his skin and cause serious infection. The natives prepared a warm bath for the man and added certain herbs to the water that irritated the leeches, so much so that – one by one – they voluntarily dropped off.
Each unforgiven injury harbored in the heart is like a leech sucking the life-blood from a person. Mere human determination to cast them off of oneself will not cast the evil thing away. You must bathe your whole being in God’s pardoning mercy; and those venomous creatures will instantly let go their hold.”
Folks – the next time you are tempted to hang the “Sin-against-me” scorecard up on your wall…Burn it….Light it up…tear it up…destroy it my any means necessary!
The next time you are tempted to be free of the leeches of anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness by doing it through your own strength – rethink your strategy.
…Instead, immerse your entire self into the saturating understanding of how God pardoned you – and continues to pardon you – of your sins.
…and extend that same forgiveness to others.
“Father, forgive us of our debts…as we forgive our debtors”
Let’s Pray.