3/22/26 “A Well-Disciplined Church”
“A Well-Disciplined Church”
Matthew 18:15-20
As some of you know, it’s that time of year when basketball fans everywhere camp out in front of their television screens for a few weekends...
...to watch – what I believe – is the greatest spectacle in college sports....
...the NCAA Basketball tournament....
...the “Big Dance”, as it’s often called.
68 teams vying for the right to be crowned National Champion.
Even people who aren’t really into basketball enjoy the excitement of March Madness....
....They’ll often fill out a Tournament Bracket in fun competition with their family or friends.
Our family does this each year...and what’s really annoying is when our oldest daughter Lindsay – who doesn’t follow college basketball at all – ends up with a better performing bracket than some of us who follow the game...
I think she chooses her teams by their mascot...or their school colors.
I’ve always enjoyed the fast pace, high energy, aspect of basketball compared to other sports...
...As someone who used to play the game, I’ve always been fascinated with how an individual’s confidence level can dictate one’s performance
...and how shifts of momentum can affect an entire team...
Basketball is an emotional sport.
You are engaged in a battle of physicality, skill, and intellect....a combination that can produce occasional outbursts of emotion.
Typically, these emotional meltdowns occur between players on opposing teams...
....but, sometimes, players on the same team allow their emotions to boil over at each other.....especially in the professional ranks where egos are big...and patience is small.
For instance, Back in 1995, It was well documented that Michael Jordan punched his teammate Steve Kerr in the face during an intense practice session
In 2018, teammates Draymond Green and Kevin Durant got into a physical argument because Draymond didn’t pass the ball to Kevin in a late-game situation.
But the most infamous in-team argument has to be that of Washington Wizards teammates Gilbert arenas and Javaris Crittenton back in 2009.
The altercation became so heated between these two that it ended with a major post-game locker room standoff....involving guns!
Both of them were suspended for the remainder of the season, with Crittenton never again to play in the NBA.
Because humanity is subject to both sin...and emotion...we sometimes allow them to form an ungodly mixture of words, attitudes, or actions....expressed in the direction of another human being..
...sometimes, that human being is ‘On the same team’, so to speak...a family member...a co-worker...
....or - as our passage of scripture looks at today - a fellow church member
Instances within the church when one person sins against another...
....or - in some cases – when a professed believer’s unrepentant lifestyle of sin negatively affects the entire congregation.
...in both of these situations, there needs to be repentance on the part of the offender....
.....forgiveness on the part of the individual sinned against
...and...ultimately...a spirit of resolution, restoration and harmony.
Today’s passage from Matthew chapter 18 is the most-often cited portion of scripture having to do with how exactly we are to address sin and conflict within the church.
...,and, sadly, it is a teaching that often flies under the radar for most Christians...
...Simply put – most people would rather avoid the problem....suppress the problem...or find support from others by gossiping about the problematic individual.
....we default to these unbiblical tactics because – when it comes to relationships - they are the path of least resistance....
...they don’t involve the one thing that many of us dread: Confrontation.
In general, it’s a whole lot easier to avoid the problem than it is to confront the problem – especially when that problem is another human being!
But...unfortunately...because we are all creatures of emotion....without immunity from sinning against one another....times of conflict and confrontation are inevitable...
....but what separates the wise person from the foolish person...is how we deal with that conflict.
Max Lucado once wrote that “Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.”
We can navigate moments of confrontation in a non-aggressive, respectful....even loving....manner...
....it doesn’t have to end in hurt feelings....or a punch in the face....or guns being drawn!
Ronald Reagan once said, “Peace is not the absence of conflict. It is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.”
....that sentiment is exactly what today’s passage of scripture teaches us to do.
....It’s also a passage about discipline within the church...and how that can also be performed in a loving and respectful way....always with the goal of restoration in mind.
Look with me at verse 15 (Matthew 18:15) of Matthew chapter 18. It begins with “If your brother sins against you....”
Whenever we see the word ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ in the NT, it almost always refers to fellow believers in Christ....unless the context is an obvious reference to one’s actual siblings.
So, Jesus is introducing this protocol for addressing sin as a guideline to be used within the church....amongst the body of believers.
If we read between the lines here, it also tells us that Jesus knew there would be moments of sinful action and behavior – even within the church...amongst the brethren.
He knew that an assembly of imperfect, emotional human beings would – at times – result in sinful behavior toward each other....and - along with that – the need to properly confront such sinful behavior.
The next phrase in verse 15 (Matthew 18:15) tells us how to begin the process of confronting sin, “....Go and show him (or her) his fault.”
Now...before we break this down...we need to define what kind – or level – of sin we’re talking about here that does indeed require confrontation.
We need to remember that confronting an individual is not required every time our feathers get ruffled....
Use discernment from the Holy Spirit as to what offenses against us reach the level of being “Confrontation-Worthy”
For instance...if I forget your birthday on the church calendar....or call you by the wrong name during prayer time – which both tend to happen on occasion -
...Hopefully you don’t see this as a sinful transgression worthy of confronting me after service.
....but if you do, please do it lovingly....I have a fragile ego! 😊
However....if you told me something in confidence that you didn’t want others to know about...and then you learned that I had went and told someone else about it....you would have every right to confront me about it.....
I would have sinned against you....and - as a fellow believer - I would need to be held accountable.
(For the record....that will never happen. Anything that is said to me in confidence will always stay between you and me.....that’s part of the calling of a pastor....When someone is called into the ministry, you need 3 essentials: A Bible. A Prayer Life. And Spiritual Duck Tape to go over your mouth.)
So...where do we draw the line between a trespass against us that we simply forgive without confrontation....as opposed to one that should addressing the problem with an individual.
This can be a difficult question....and scripture leaves room for the Holy Spirit to speak to each of us individually concerning various degrees of offense.
As for me....I generally follow one simple rule: Am I losing sleep over it?
If something bothers me enough that my mind centers around it after I’m in bed....and it just won’t let it go....then - for me - it’s time to have a talk with that individual.
Now for you, that might look a bit different....but - in general – if your thoughts continue to return to a specific issue with another person....and what that person did – or said – that hurt you....it needs to be resolved
....both for your peace of mind....for the good of the offending individual who may or may not even realize they sinned against you...
....and - ultimately - for the good of the church.
If you are harboring unresolved resentment toward another believer in our congregation...it will affect this entire church.
...and, yes, this person could even be a spouse...or a child...or a parent.
Any instance of unforgiveness in the church will always breed Ineffectiveness for Christ (Repeat)
God will not use a church to its full potential for the kingdom if there is unrepented sin – or unforgiveness – in its ranks....
The fourth chapter of Ephesians is a wonderful reminder of how each congregation needs to be unified in love and purpose in order for us to be effective for Christ.
The apostle Paul says in verse 3 (Ephesians 4;3) “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
He then goes on to describe how we are all individual parts of the body of Christ....and if one part isn’t functioning properly, the entire body suffers.
Unforgiveness...and unresolved sin...are examples of non-functioning body parts....limiting what we are able to accomplish for God’s kingdom
The last part of verse 15 (Matthew 18:15) describes the proper mode by which we are to confront a fellow believer regarding sin.
It says that we are to approach them individually...one-on-one.
At this point, no one else needs to be privy to what has happened – or is happening.
A conversation in private benefits both the offender....and the offended party as well.
At a funeral I was officiating last week, a man named Jay came forward to give a eulogy about the deceased individual.
Jay described how – years ago - at a job site, he had made a pretty big mistake in not locking the end gate of his dump truck before pulling away from the loading area.
The deceased man – his name was Bill – Bill happened to notice from his truck that the end gate wasn’t secured....
...so instead of using the CB radio to inform Jay about his guffaw...where dozens of other drivers were listening in....B
....ill jumped out of his truck....ran over to the driver’s door....and informed him in private about the mistake.
Decades later...Jay was still grateful for Bill’s act of grace and mercy toward him....it was an indiscretion that no one else needed to know about.
....Jay was so grateful for the correction that was made in private.
Verse 15 teaches us to do likewise when it comes to informing someone else in the church about an indiscretion of some kind...
As pastor & theologian John MacArthur writes: “When a brother is corrected in private, and in a spirit of humility and love, his change of heart is much more likely. And if he does repent, a unique and marvelous bond of intimacy is established between the two believers.”
A couple of years ago, someone from this congregation told me about how a previous wound involving another member of this congregation needed to be resolved....
....the two met in private....and in a spirit of love and grace, repentance was established....forgiveness was given....and harmony was restored between these two precious individuals.
THAT is exactly how we are taught to handle offensive sins in the church!
The verse ends with the words “...If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.”
That idea of ‘Winning a brother over” involves the concept of the offender learning to understand the value of discipline in their life.
We don’t naturally enjoy being disciplined, right?
We don’t naturally think “Man, this average day would be a great day if I could just be disciplined by somebody! 😊 )
No...we are born hating discipline.....Ask any 3-year-old...they’ll tell you.
But scripture reminds us that godly discipline is central to a life of holiness, wisdom and peace.
The author of Hebrews writes, “Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:10-11)
Those who work in correctional institutions will tell you that the vast majority of incarcerated individuals grew up in an environment where discipline was not administered correctly...or at all.
From a biblical perspective, a parent who does not discipline their child doesn’t really love them...
It is only through regular – and enforced – discipline that children grow to become respectful, courteous, and balanced individuals....
...people who understand the importance of a stable family and community...people who know the value of serving others.
Proverbs 3:11-12 says, “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”
The remainder of today’s passage in Matthew 18 describes the protocol for dealing with a fellow believer who disputes or ignores your request for repentance....
....or who purposefully – and defiantly - refuses to change from living in a lifestyle of sin.
If the private meeting does not go well, the matter shouldn’t just be dropped.
Verse 16 (Matthew 18:16) says, “But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.”
This is when the circle of involvement needs to expand a bit....but not too far.
Jesus is telling us here that – because of an inability for two people to reach a harmonious conclusion....more people are needed for an accurate assessment of the situation.
Does the accusation have merit?....is it worthy of disciplinary action?....did the alleged offender actually commit a sin against the accuser?
These important questions need to be discerned by bringing in a couple other believers.
...look at verse 16:
There’s no mention of who these individuals should be.
It doesn’t have to be the pastor – or the Deacons – who get involved at this point...
...In fact, in a sermon I was listening to this past week, the pastor was teaching about the wisdom of bringing at least one of the offender’s best friends into the meeting....
...If that friend is indeed a genuine believer who can remain unbiased, they would carry more weight in possibly convincing the sinning party to seek repentance and forgiveness.
Also, having an audience made up of people who are not in ‘official’ church leadership positions helps to keep the meeting les weighty in certain aspects.
Even if it's not verbalized, any meeting where the pastor- or a Deacon – or an Elder – is in attendance....it increases the tendency for people to be less open and vulnerable.
Finally, verse 17 (Matthew 18:17) provides instruction in a situation where the small-group meeting still does not end with a harmonious resolution.
It reads, “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church....”
This is where leadership needs to be involved, if they haven’t been already.
By this time, it has been firmly established that a significant sin has taken place – or continues to take place – a grievance has been warranted....
...and for some reason, the offending party refuses to acknowledge their sinful behavior....and seems to be displaying a spirit of disunity and pride.
At this point, much of the church is made aware of the situation....
....and the defiant individual is given one last chance to repent of their behavior and seek forgiveness and restoration.
By the time a situation in the church would ever reach this level....one would have to question the sincerity of the offending individual’s profession of faith.
We are never to judge others in terms of their eternal salvation....Jesus tells us that in the Sermon on the mount....
But if there is no desire for spiritual cohesion with a fellow believer...and the church as a whole...there is compelling evidence for a disconnect somewhere in their relationship with Christ...
If – indeed – the offending member continues to remain defiant to the church’s pleading for reunification....
....we are told in the back half of verse 17 (Matthew 18:17) that – in order to maintain the integrity of the church – ties have to be broken with the offending individual.
Jesus says “....If he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
Paul elaborates on these words of Christ in 1 Corinthians when he says to “hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord”(1 Corinthians 5:5)
....he continues a few verses later, “....expel the wicked person from among you.”
These words sound harsh, right?....until we recognize the priority of holiness and integrity that Jesus places upon the church....His Bride....His body of believers.
The church is to be a model of holiness and purity to the rest of the world...
In describing how the church was to reflect Israel’s original mission, Peter writes “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” (1 Peter 2:9)
Brothers and Sisters....genuine followers of Jesus will think, look, and act very differently from the world in which they live...
...sometimes I think we forget that.
The next time you’re on social media....consider - before you click on ‘post’....think about whether that message aligns itself with holiness...with purity...with godliness.
To be light in the world....we need to expose – and be separate from – sin within the world.
We also have to remember that focused discipline within the church is – ultimately – benefitting the professing believer who is caught up in major sin....and who remains defiant about that sin...
...many times, that individual needs to “wake up”, so to speak, from the spiritual apathy & malaise that he or she is in....
Before we close, we have to remember that even if a situation reaches the point of where a defiant individual is ostracized from a local church family...
....they are to always be welcomed back into the fold if they humbly repent of their sin....and seek forgiveness.
We have to remember that restoration is ALWAYS the goal of conflict management within the church.
If it's a situation where an individual is living in defiant sin that affects the witness of the entire church....
....they are to always be welcomed and restored - IF repentance and acknowledgement of sin takes place.
Sometimes we might be tempted to dismiss an individual too quickly whose sin has caused their exit from the church....
...let’s remember that all of us – at one time – were also separated from Christ and His church...and from the salvific grace of God.
As believer, we live separately from the world...but we also invite the world to live separately with us....
....That includes welcoming anyone who is serious about finding Jesus.
Let’s Pray.
