5/12/24 “The Virtuous Woman”
“The Virtuous Woman”
Proverbs 31:10-31
Over the years, there have been many popular songs about women.
Back in 1958, Elvis Presley sang about a ‘Hardheaded Woman.’
In 1964, Roy Orbison sang about a ‘Pretty Woman’.
In 1968, Aretha Franklin felt like a ‘Natural Woman.’
In 1969, The Rolling Stones sang about a ‘Honky Tonk Woman’
In 1970, Marty Robbins sang about his woman, his woman, his wife….I’m assuming that song is about 1 woman, not 3 separate women! 😊
In 1972, The Eagles sang about a ‘Witchy Woman’
In 1974, Waylon Jennings sang about a ‘Rainy Day Woman’
In 1977, The Bee-Gees sang about a woman who was ‘More Than a Woman’….Now..If a song with that title was released in today’s world, I’d be very concerned about that woman!
Also, in 1977, Billy Joel claimed that one particular woman was ‘Always a Woman’ to him.
In 1986, the group Alabama & Lionel Richie collaborated together to sing about a ‘Deep River Woman’
In 1997 Shania Twain told everyone that she Felt like a Woman
Ever since 2005, Brad Paisley has been ‘Waitin’ On a Woman.’
But my all-time favorite song about a woman has to be one recorded by Deke Dickerson and the Ecco-fonics…It’s called ‘Nightmare of a Woman.’
…Listen to some of the heart-warming lyrics:
Mean and evil, dirty, rotten…bad times I have not forgotten…girl you left a bad taste in my mouth…you took my house and you took my car, you got it all but my guitar, If you go North believe me I’ll go South…
CHORUS: Well, I asked the Lord ‘why did He make her…Well, I asked the Devil to kindly take her…How I ever got involved I will never know, but this nightmare of a woman’s got to go!
…Oh, Don’t worry, the second verse gets even better:
She took my wallet, took my clothes…but all she took, man who knows…she even took my safe deposit keys…she took the mailbox and the pole…she took my puppy’s supper bowl…and the only thing I got was a disease!
Happy Mother’s Day, ladies!! …hope you enjoyed the service today!
Well, unlike ‘Nightmare of a Woman’, most of these songs dealing with women are songs that extoll the virtues of what our culture has traditionally defined as positive characteristics in a woman.
Let’s look at a famous song from 54 years ago by Tom Jones called ‘She’s a Lady’. The song talks about various feminine traits that are considered to be desirable…some of the lyrics go like this:
Well, she’s all you ever want, she’s the kind I like to flaunt and take to dinner.
But she always knows her place, she’s got style, she’s got grace, she’s a winner.
CHORUS: She’s a lady…Oh whoa whoa, she’s a lady…Talkin about that little lady, and that lady is mine.
(2nd Verse) Well, she’s never in the way, always something nice to say, what a blessing….I can leave her on her own, knowin’ she’s ok alone, and there’s no messin’
CHORUS
One gets the idea from reading the lyrics of this song that the most important virtues of a woman are to be 1) Physically attractive 2) Stylish 3) culturally refined 4) Silent, and 5) like a pet, she can be trusted to stay at home by herself and not get into trouble.
Granted, this song is half a century old, but many of these cultural definitions of a what a virtuous woman is, still exist today.
However, when we look at the Bible’s definition of a virtuous woman in our passage for today, it differs quite a bit from Tom Jones’ definition.
We don’t read about anything having to do with physical beauty in these verses.
We don’t read anything about trendy clothing or hairdos in these verses.
We don’t read anything about having to obtain a certain level of education in these verses.
We don’t read anything about a woman needing to be silent in these verses.
….And we don’t read anything about trustworthiness issues in these verses.
Rather, these verses talk about things like a woman’s character, her dependability, her loyalty, her helpfulness, her ingenuity, her economic street smarts, her generosity, her protective habits, her domestic skills, her strength, her fearlessness, her work ethic, her position of receiving respect from her husband & children, and – most importantly – her fear of the Lord.
She is the kind of woman who is respected by everyone who knows her….
respected for being a spiritually solid person, as opposed to being respected because of her looks, or because of the type of clothing she may wear.
So – in many ways – the Bible’s definition of a virtuous woman is quite different than our culture’s definition of a virtuous woman.
This chapter of Proverbs (Chapter 31) is written by king Lemuel –
unfortunately, we don’t know much about him – but we do know that the words in this chapter were instructions given to him by his mother at some point in his life.
Some believe that Lemuel (Which the name means, ‘Belonging to God’) was possibly Bathsheba’s nickname for her son, Solomon – but that’s just a guess…we don’t know that for sure.
Verse 10 (Proverbs 31:10) begins with a rhetorical question…
Who can find a wife of noble character?
In other words, a godly woman is hard to find!
Guys – that hasn’t changed much over the last 3,000 years, has it?
And ladies, I’m sure you have felt the same way about men…It’s true - a godly man is definitely hard to find.
In fact, Proverbs 20:6 says exactly that: “Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?”
In the 2nd half of verse 10 (Proverbs 31:10) Lemuel’s mother is telling him that a woman of high character is “Worth far more than rubies.”
Basically, she is telling her son that a good woman is more valuable than anything this earth has to offer – money, materialism, precious metals, prestige, etc.
Believe it or not, this passage about the virtuous woman was viewed as being so important that all 22 verses were memorized as a poem by many young Jewish boys.
This poetic passage is called an acrostic – it’s where the first letter of each line forms a pattern that is recognizable.
Sometimes it will spell out a word or a phrase…but in this case, each verse begins with the next character in sequence of the Hebrew alphabet.
Conveniently, there are 22 letters in the Hebrew alphabet, so all of them were used in the writing of this poem…quite remarkable, if you think about it!
Throughout the book of Proverbs, wisdom is personified as a woman.
It’s fitting then, that the final words of the book describe what a wise and virtuous woman actually looks like in real life.
When I look at this passage, I see 5 distinct attributes of a wise woman.
The first one is her phenomenal capacity to multitask.
Just look at all of the things this woman is handling at the same time.
Verses 13-15 (Proverbs 31:13-15) tell us she works with her hands to provide food for her family.
Verses16-18 (Proverbs 31:16-18) tells us that she manages her money well by investing it wisely.
Verse 20 (Proverbs 31:20) says she budgets time in her day to be generous to the poor around her.
Verses 21-22 (Proverbs 31:21-22) tell us that she makes clothing for her family, so they stay warm in the winter.
Verse 23 (Proverbs 31:23) describes her loving support for her husband.
Verse 28 (Proverbs 31:28) tells us that she cares for her children.
And verse 30 (Proverbs 31:30) paints a picture of a woman who prioritizes her faith above all else, undoubtedly spending much time in prayer & in God’s Word.
Whew…I’m tired just listing all of the things this woman does throughout her day!
I find it amazing how God created women with the natural ability to multitask…
Just try to ask a man to cook something on the stove, while at the same time attend to the kids, while at the same time be talking to someone on the phone, while at the same time getting the table set for dinner….
Yeah, No….A man cannot do all of this at once.
We men can only do One. Thing. At. A. Time.
I’ve come to learn that women are like computers…they can have numerous ‘windows’ open and functioning all at the same time.
We men, on the other hand, we have one window open at all times.
And when we are done with that window, we “X” out of that window and then we open a different window…or sometimes we just go into “screensaver mode” where we don’t have any windows open.
This is one of my favorite modes to be in…Lisa will sometimes ask me what I’m thinking about, and I will respond with “Nothing”….because I am literally thinking about nothing.
This is a talent that only us men have – I’m sorry ladies, but we’ve got the market cornered on being able to achieve the brain activity of a vegetable!
The second attribute of a virtuous woman is that she is a woman of character.
Verse 10 (Proverbs 31:10) says that she is noble.
Verse 17 (Proverbs 31:17) says that she is a hard worker.
Verse 20 (Proverbs 31:20) says that she is generous.
Verse 25 (Proverbs 31:24) says that she is dignified.
Verse 26 (Proverbs 31 :26) says that she is wise.
Verse 28 (Proverbs 31:28) says that she is respected.
Verse 30 (Proverbs 31:30) says that she fears the Lord.
Noble, hard-working, generous, dignified, wise, respected, and God-fearing.
These are the attributes that describe a woman of character.
Notice we don’t see anything about her looks…or her clothing…or her hair…or her makeup…or her perfume…or her shoes…or her weight…or her talents…or her nails…NONE of these things go into defining a woman of character.
…and NONE of these things matter to God!
Ladies, I know that some of these things may be important to you – and I’m certainly not saying that you should simply ignore your physical appearance…but I am telling you what God’s Word tells us.
And His Word tells us that one’s physical attributes and maintenance thereof, have very little significance compared to the intangible attributes of a woman of character…things like wisdom and generosity…and faith in the Lord.
Verse 30 (Proverbs 31:30) tells us plainly that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
The third attribute of a virtuous woman is her domestic value.
What I mean by that is spelled out for us in verses 27 and 28 (Proverbs 31:27-28)
It says that this woman “Watches over the affairs of her household”, that she stays on task and doesn’t get distracted, that she has trained her children well (And, yes, maybe she has had to train her husband well too!)
Scripture is clear that for a woman to experience the most fulfillment & satisfaction in life, the home will most often need to be her natural habitat.
This becomes obvious when we look at how young children naturally respond to mothers vs how they respond to fathers in the home.
Who is the first person that children go to when they scrape a knee or want something to eat or just want to cuddle?....It’s generally not dad…
It’s mom…that’s the person to whom they instinctively gravitate toward for assistance in the home.
…Now when it comes to learning how to pop a wheelie on their bike, or navigate the sledding hill that has a barbed wire fence at the bottom of it…that’s where Dad comes in handy 😊
God made women to naturally possess the empathy, resources, and mindset to thrive in the atmosphere of home.
In the book of Titus, Paul reminds us of the truth that women will naturally find joy in living according to God’s original design in the domestic realm.
Titus 2:4-5 reads, “Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
As we know from scripture, God has ordained specific roles for both men and women – and when we begin to live outside of these prescribed roles, that’s when disharmony, tension, and frustration creep into a marriage.
The question is often asked: Does the Bible say that women should never work outside of the home?
I don’t see scripture telling us that.
In fact, verse 24 (Proverbs 31:24) of our passage today says that the virtuous woman is involved in local commerce.
She produces a product of value and then takes that product to local merchants to sell.
This is describing a woman who is spending time in the workforce, so to speak.
I believe we can harmonize this verse and the passage in Titus like this:
God’s grand design for a woman is for her to prioritize the domestic sphere AND when time allows (And when she feels the need to) to partake in occupational duties beyond the home.
I see no contradiction here as long as the domestic realm is priority #1 and the realm of the workplace is priority #2.
The fourth attribute of a virtuous woman is that she is confident about the future.
I absolutely Love Verse 25 (Proverbs 31:25) that says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”
This is my favorite verse of today’s passage because it reminds all of us that if we are in Christ, we have absolutely nothing to worry about!
We can even look down the barrel of death (Because we will all die someday) …we can look down the barrel of death and… laugh!
Folks, non-believers can’t do this!
For many people in this world, this life is all they have…they live for today because they don’t see a future beyond their current physical existence.
How eternally sad this is.
But as believers – and like the virtuous woman in our text for today – we know that God’s Word tells us of a place called heaven where we will live for eternity with our savior, Jesus Christ….Amen?!?!
This woman is not anxious or worried about a thing.
It’s been said that ‘worry is paying interest on trouble that isn’t due.’
1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”
The virtuous woman knows this. She knows that her loving, eternally timeless God is already at tomorrow…therefore, she has nothing to fear concerning tomorrow.
Lastly, The fifth (and most important) attribute of a virtuous woman is that she is a woman of faith.
Verse 30 (Proverbs 31:30) says that “…A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised)
This is by far the most important attribute of a virtuous woman (Or man, for that matter) as it is by faith that she draws the strength to fulfill all of the other aspects of being considered a woman of virtue.
It is because of her faith that she is seen as virtuous and wise.
Earlier in the book of Proverbs, it speaks to this reality when it states that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”
Fearing the Lord is another way of saying that one displays an appropriate level of reverence, respect, and awe toward God.
When we humble ourselves to the point of hating our sin…and when we kick pride to the curb…this is when we can truly begin to understand what it means to fear the Lord.
It is when we begin to grasp the vast expanse between God’s Holiness and our own sinful humanity…that is when we begin to fear the Lord and gain spiritual wisdom.
I’ve heard ladies say that the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 is impossible to live up to – that it’s a picture of perfection that eludes even the strongest believer.
…and they’re right. It is impossible to live up to this standard…in one’s own strength.
However, through the strength of the Holy Spirit who is living in you, it is possible to live out the attributes described in this passage of scripture.
It doesn’t mean that you will always accomplish these things perfectly – in fact – you will fall short from time to time.
But it does mean that your general, consistent pattern of living will begin to resemble this wise and virtuous woman in many ways.
…all through the power of the one who gives you strength.
I’ll end with these words from Galatians 2:20:
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
Folks, it was - is - and always will be…about Jesus Christ.
Let’s Pray.